What if I don't feel anything when I ask these questions?

That's common! Years of suppression create emotional numbness. Keep practicing. Start by asking "If I COULD feel something right now, what might it be?" Sometimes imagining emotions helps them surface.

What does Gabor Maté mean by "suppressed emotions"?

Emotions we learned to hide or deny in childhood because expressing them threatened our attachment to caregivers. For example, a child learns to suppress anger because it upset their parent, leading to adult depression.

Is this a replacement for therapy?

No, it's a complement. This practice can provide insights to explore in therapy. For trauma work, definitely work with a trained therapist alongside this practice.

What if the emotions that come up are overwhelming?

Return to your breath, open your eyes, and ground yourself. This is a sign to work with a trauma-informed therapist. The practice is working, but you need professional support to process safely.

How is this different from regular journaling?

This uses specific questions designed to access suppressed emotions and unmet needs. Regular journaling explores surface thoughts; this goes deeper into emotional roots of depression.

Can this help with people-pleasing patterns?

Absolutely! People-pleasing is often rooted in suppressing your authentic needs to maintain attachment. This practice helps identify what YOU need vs. what others want from you.

Quick Answer

Compassionate Self-Inquiry is a Gabor Maté-inspired practice where you ask yourself questions like "What am I not feeling right now?" and "What do I need that I'm not giving myself?" to uncover suppressed emotions and unmet needs. This gentle exploration helps identify the emotional roots of depression by reconnecting with feelings you learned to suppress for survival.

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Compassionate Self-Inquiry

A Gabor Maté-inspired practice to explore the emotional roots of depression with curiosity and compassion

Level: intermediate⚡ Works in: 2-4 weeks of regular practice for emotional awareness🕐 8 min

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When to Use Compassionate Self-Inquiry

✓When feeling depressed but don't know why
✓To explore emotional roots of symptoms
✓When disconnected from your feelings
✓Before or after therapy sessions
✓When recognizing childhood patterns
✓For understanding relationship patterns
✓When people-pleasing leads to burnout
✓To identify what you truly need

Benefits

●Identifies suppressed emotions contributing to depression
●Uncovers unmet needs and authentic desires
●Builds emotional awareness and literacy
●Reduces depression through emotional processing
●Helps understand childhood patterns affecting current mood
●Cultivates self-compassion and acceptance
●Breaks cycles of emotional suppression
●Connects you to your authentic self
●Provides insights for therapy work
●Reduces self-judgment and criticism

Instructions

1Sit quietly and take several deep breaths to center yourself
2Ask yourself: "What am I not feeling right now?"
3Notice any emotions, sensations, or memories that arise
4Instead of judging, approach with curiosity: "What is this trying to tell me?"
5Ask: "What do I need right now that I'm not giving myself?"
6Listen to your inner wisdom without trying to fix or change anything
7End by placing a hand on your heart and offering yourself compassion
8Journal any insights that emerged during this practice

Tips for Best Results

💡Create a safe, private space where you won't be interrupted
💡Have tissues nearby - emotions may arise
💡Journal your insights immediately after
💡Don't rush the questions - sit with them
💡There are no "right" answers - just explore
💡If intense emotions arise, that's actually progress
💡Practice regularly (2-3 times/week) for best results
💡Consider combining with therapy for deeper work
💡Be patient - some emotions take time to access
💡Honor whatever comes up without judgment

Real-Time Visual Guidance

Real-time guidance through each step of this practice

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The Science Behind This Practice

Based on Dr. Gabor Maté's work on trauma and depression, this practice helps identify suppressed emotions and unmet needs that contribute to depression. Maté's research shows that depression often stems from disconnection from our authentic emotional selves - emotions we learned to suppress in childhood for attachment and survival. Research shows that emotional awareness combined with self-compassion are highly effective therapeutic approaches for depression and emotional regulation.

Research Evidence:

Emotional awareness reduces depression symptoms by 32%

Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 2019

Self-compassion practices reduce depression by 40% and anxiety by 34%

Clinical Psychology Review, 2020

Identifying and expressing suppressed emotions improves mental health outcomes

Emotion (APA), 2018

Childhood emotional suppression predicts adult depression and anxiety

Development and Psychopathology, 2017

Important Safety Information

⚠️This practice may bring up difficult emotions - be gentle with yourself
⚠️If overwhelming feelings arise, return to your breath or seek support
⚠️Consider working with a trauma-informed therapist for deeper exploration
⚠️Remember: feeling emotions is part of healing, not a sign of weakness
⚠️Not recommended during acute crisis - wait until you have some stability

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